“In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”

—Benjamin Franklin, 1789

The founding father and Philadelphia statesman was clearly a man ahead of his time. However, Franklin could not have foreseen another certainty of life this time of year: college football. And nowhere do passions run higher than they do in the South. On November 26—the Saturday after Thanksgiving, conveniently enough—five of the nation’s most historic (and in some cases, best) gridiron rivalries resume.

Oh, there will be fireworks all right. Or at least crunching tackles and pancake blocks, electrifying runs and daring aerial attacks, maybe last-minute heroics, and for sure a whole lot of hooting and hollering from some of the most loyal and passionate fans anywhere. These epic rivalries have been played out between the lines, off the field, on the sports-talk airwaves and even in the state legislatures. They resonate throughout their respective states as sure as, well, death and taxes.

Alabama vs. Auburn

Think of the great and historic college football rivalries—Ohio State/Michigan, Notre Dame/Southern California, even Army/Navy—and they all pale in comparison to the Iron Bowl. This clash between Southeastern Conference (SEC) powers Alabama and Auburn is just downright nasty, and not just during football season. Year after year. The malice is captured perfectly in a quote from legendary Alabama coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, who once told boosters before an Auburn game: “Sure I’d like to beat Notre Dame, don’t get me wrong. But nothing matters more than beating that cow college on the other side of the state.” Ouch!

The two schools have literally been quarreling from the very beginning (although Auburn/Georgia, having played months earlier in 1892, constitute the “Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry.”). On February 22, 1893, in Birmingham, Auburn (then known as Agricultural and Mechanical College of Alabama) edged the Crimson Tide, 32-22. Immediately, the schools began squabbling about whether the results should be applied to the 1892 or 1893 season records.

The bickering and bad blood continued unabated until 1907, when the series came to an abrupt end, both sides unwilling to negotiate a compromise over the game’s details. So profound was the chasm between the schools that it would be four decades before the teams met again.

The matchup resumed in 1948, but only after an act of the Alabama House of Representatives and a historic accord between the two school presidents. It may have been the last thing the Tigers and the Tide have agreed on. Those post-World War II games would be played in Birmingham, a city with a rich legacy of iron and steel production, which lead to the title “The Iron Bowl.” The result is an annual grudge match that ESPN ranked in 2000 as the greatest North American sports rivalry.

Plus, a quick peek at the teams’ rosters over the years, ranging from Alabama quarterbacks Joe Namath and Kenny “The Snake” Stabler to Auburn’s all-world running back Bo Jackson and quarterback Pat Sullivan, speaks to the talent on display. The two schools even boast the two most recent recipients of the Heisman Trophy, with Alabama running back Mark Ingram winning in 2009, and Auburn quarterback Cam Newton voted the top collegiate football player in 2010.

Alabama owns the historic bragging rights, with a 40-34-1 series lead, but in the spirit of “he who laughs last, laughs best,” Auburn fans are basking in the glow of last year’s nail-biting 28-27 triumph on the way to a national championship crown. That game no doubt dredged up the same emotions that former Auburn coach Pat Dye spoke about in 1985, after Alabama’s Van Tiffen kicked a 52-yard field goal to lift the Crimson Tide past his Tigers, 25-23: “A game like this, Alabama players will remember it for the rest of their lives. Auburn players … it’ll eat their guts out the rest of their lives.”

Florida vs. Florida State

Despite the rise to prominence of the University of Miami program in the 1980s, the Sunshine Showdown features the state’s most storied series, even though it’s younger than most rivalries found in the Southeast.

The Florida Gators (SEC) and Florida State Seminoles (Atlantic Coast Conference, or ACC) first officially met in 1958 in Gainesville (won by the Gators, 21-7), but there’s a historic footnote worth mentioning. Florida State College, just one of the forerunners to today’s FSU, did field a football team beginning in 1902, and won three consecutive state championships before the school was transformed into Florida Female College in 1905.

In 1906, Jack Forsythe, the last coach at Florida State College, took the reins of the new University of the State of Florida program. Finally, after World War II, Florida Female College became the co-ed Florida State University, and the school promptly went on a football tear, going undefeated in 1950. However, Florida was leery of this new powerhouse, and declined to play the Seminoles until 1958. And the teams would play six times before FSU would actually host the game at Tallahassee.

Although Florida leads the series 33-20-2, the matchup has been remarkably even over the past 37 years, with the teams splitting, 18-18-1. That balance of power is highlighted by the classic 1994 meeting at Doak S. Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee, when the Seminoles erased a 31-3 fourth quarter deficit to secure a 31-31 tie that must have felt like a win for FSU fans—and a loss for the Florida faithful. To this day, Gators fans know the game as “the Choke at Doak.”

Adding luster to the rivalry is a raft of collegiate all-stars, including Heisman Trophy winners Tim Tebow (Florida, 2007), Charlie Ward (FSU, 1993) and Chris Weinke (FSU, 2000), and Hall of Fame coaches such as FSU’s Bobby Bowden (retired) and Florida’s Steve Spurrier (a 1966 Heisman winner for the Gators), now running the South Carolina program.

Florida was riding a six-game winning streak against its cross-state rivals until the Seminoles stunned the Gators last year, 31-7, in Tallahassee. Florida fans in Gainesville won’t need any reminders this year.

Georgia vs. Georgia Tech

The “truth in advertising award” for college football rivalries goes to the sobriquet for the annual clash between the Georgia Bulldogs and the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets: “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate.” Separated by just 70 miles between Atlanta and Athens, these two teams first met in 1893, with Tech coming out on top, 28-6. The Bulldogs, however, enjoy a healthy series lead, 61-39-5, and have won the last two Governor’s Cups.

Following Georgia’s 42-34 win in 2010, Bulldogs coach Mark Richt said: “We love the Governor’s Cup. It’s something we don’t ever want to leave the confines of our building. We’ve got a nice place waiting for it. It’s good to beat Tech always. I’m excited, believe me.” Bank on the Tech fan base to resurrect that quote this November.

Still, post-game words and records hardly do this rivalry justice. The vitriol between the schools, and their respective boosters, almost compares to Alabama/Auburn. For example, Tech students penned a song “To Hell with Georgia,” sung to the tune of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” while Georgia fans derisively refer to Tech as the North Avenue Trade School.

That enmity often spills over onto the gridiron, and the two teams have waged some fierce battles during the 100-plus times they’ve played (Georgia refuses to recognize two Tech wins in 1943 and ’44, claiming the Bulldogs lost too many players to the war effort). Almost 40 years earlier, in 1908, Georgia officials were condemning the Yellow Jackets—then known as the Blacksmiths—of recruitment violations.

Both institutions were founding members of the SEC in 1932, though Tech left in 1964 over a rift regarding scholarships. When the school tried to return to the SEC in the 1970s, Georgia blocked the move. As a result, the Yellow Jackets played for 15 years as an independent before joining the ACC in 1978. Don’t believe for a second that Tech folks don’t still resent that snub by the Bulldogs and the SEC.

Clemson vs. South Carolina

You want history? “The Battle of the Palmetto State” (also known as the Palmetto Bowl) is the longest uninterrupted rivalry in theSouth, and the third-longest continuously played series in Division 1 college football (after Lehigh/Lafayette’s 146 games, and Minnesota/Wisconsin’s 120). The Tigers and the Gamecocks first squared off in 1896, and have faced each other every year since 1909, for a total of 108 meetings.

If familiarity truly breeds contempt, that long-running feud churns up all the animosity the teams need for a heated contest each fall (highlighted by a huge brawl in 2004; the two teams met prior to the 2005 game to shake hands).

Another interconference rivalry—South Carolina of the SEC versus ACC charter member Clemson—pits two schools with vastly different missions, which is how things got started in the 1880s. Benjamin Tillman, convinced that what was then known as South Carolina College (founded in 1801) couldn’t adequately meet the state’s agricultural needs, helped found a separate institution in 1889 with a land grant from Thomas Green Clemson. The rancor from the debate split the state. And the football programs followed suit.

In addition to some outstanding games, the series has generated some true football oddities, such as the Navy relocating Clemson player Cary Cox to South Carolina in 1943, where he led the Gamecocks to victory over the Tigers before returning to Clemson in 1947. Then there are the hilarious pranks. In 1961, a South Carolina fraternity fooled the Clemson band, running onto the field in Tiger uniforms before putting on a Keystone Kops display of football ineptitude.

Clemson, which leads the series 65-39-4, has more wins over South Carolina than any other opponent. But the Gamecocks have crowed louder recently, winning the past two Hardee’s Trophies.

North Carolina vs. Duke

No, this hasn’t quietly morphed into a basketball story. Granted, mention of a “Carolina/Duke” game understandably conjures images of hardwood and hoops, of the Carolina blue–clad Dean Dome faithful and the Cameron Crazies, of coaches Roy Williams and Mike Krzyzewski pacing courtside. But this Tobacco Road football rivalry, believe it or not, is nothing to dismiss.

The schools first met on Thanksgiving Day 1888, when Duke was known as Trinity College, and have faced off on the football field annually since 1922. (When James B. Duke founded the university in 1924, Trinity became the men’s undergraduate college, and today it’s the Trinity College of Arts & Sciences.) In 1935, after the Blue Devils squashed UNC’s Rose Bowl aspirations, Duke fan Red Underwood wrote “The Ballad of a Bust” set to the Tar Heels fight song “Hark the Sound.”

Since 1948, the universities have battled for the Victory Bell, a traveling trophy conceived by a cheerleader from each school. And according to a number of college football historians, the football rivalry once matched the basketball hostilities for sheer intensity.

In recent years, however, the match has cooled from red-hot to lukewarm, in part because of North Carolina’s dominance, winning 20 of the past 21 meetings (including a crazy 45-44 triumph in 2006). The Tar Heels lead the overall series, 57-35-4 (like any good rivalry, there is heated debate over a 1889 game that UNC won by forfeit, with both schools claiming they were supposed to host the game), and the official Victory Bell trophy match, 42-20-1. But a change of fortunes could be in the cards.

All bets are off regarding the upcoming 98th edition of this intrastate ACC battle. The Tar Heels come under the direction of interim coach Everett Withers, who has deep ties with football in the state, having played at Appalachian State, in Boone (see sidebar). But the Blue Devils are hungry for victory, and like basketball fans all along Tobacco Road know, that kind of hunger can make for a feast of a game!